The ultimate guide to making friends in Belgium
Did you know that most expats find it hard to make friends in Belgium?
Really! According to a study by InterNations, just 25% of expats said it’s easy to befriend locals. And almost half said they find us distant!
So, if you’ve recently moved to Belgium and you’re struggling to burst the expat bubble and enter Belgian circles, you’re not alone.
The good news is that it is possible. Many of my students have done it, and today, I’m sharing some insider secrets about how you can make friends with Belgians too.
But first, you might be wondering…
Is Belgium friendly to expats?
In short, yes!
Belgium is known for being very international and foreigner-friendly. And given that around 12.7% of the population are expats, Belgians are generally used to and tolerant of living alongside people from all over the world.
But because so many people are just passing through or here on a short-term basis, we can be reluctant to form friendships with people who might soon leave!
And that’s usually why many expats find us a little cold, distant and difficult to read.
That doesn’t mean you should give up trying to make friends in Belgium, though. It just means it takes more time, patience and cultural understanding. And that’s what I’m here for!
Things you should know about making friends with Belgians
First, I’m not suggesting that everyone you meet will share the same characteristics. But understanding a few typical Belgian traits can make starting conversations with new people easier.
We can come across as closed and distant
Belgians are known for being reserved and conservative, especially when meeting someone for the first time.
But that doesn’t mean we aren’t interested in getting to know you! It just takes a little longer to break the ice.
By showing a genuine interest in people, asking casual questions and being patient, you’ll soon be able to break down barriers and feel at ease.
We like to plan ahead
I think I speak for most Belgians when I say we love to plan!
Whether it’s a meeting, an appointment or a catch-up with friends, we always schedule things in advance.
Spontaneity isn’t really a thing in Belgium. So, don’t be offended if you suggest going for coffee with someone the next day, and they reply with a firm no; they likely already have plans.
Instead of scaring your new contacts off with spontaneous suggestions, arrange a date further in advance. You’ll probably have more success that way!
We can speak English, but we don’t always want to
While over half of the Belgian population speaks good English, you shouldn’t rely on that to make local friends.
One of my students learnt that the hard way. When he started hanging out with his Belgian girlfriend and her friends, he thought they didn’t like him because they’d never speak to him in English, despite understanding what he was saying.
He soon realised that he wasn’t the problem - the language was! They were too shy to speak English to him in case they made mistakes.
This is true of many Belgians, so the best way to overcome this is to learn some French or Dutch - yep, even if you’re living in Brussels.
Starting a conversation in the person’s mother tongue is often enough to melt the ice and form connections quicker. Bonus points if you can throw some belgicismes in!
Want to learn some French ready to make friends in Brussels or Wallonia? Check out my conversation groups, where you can build your skills and confidence in a casual setting.
We don’t like talking about certain topics
As an expat in Belgium, it’s super important to be aware of cultural, political and linguistic sensitivities.
I’m not here to offer political advice, but a couple of rules to live by are to avoid referring to one of the national languages as the national language - even if you’re in a predominantly French or Dutch or German-speaking area.
While most people will forgive you for saying something accidentally, it pays to be conscious of what’s happening.
Now we’ve covered how to make friends with Belgians, here are a few ways to find us!
Join a club and practice a hobby
We often socialise through sports or hobbies, so this will be one of the quickest and easiest ways to make new friends in Belgium.
What classes, courses or clubs are available depends on your location.
Brussels, in particular, has a range of activities available. Here you’ll find gyms, running clubs, yoga classes, cooking classes, art lessons, language schools - basically anything you want to try!
English-speaking clubs and activities are widely available. But if you want to go one step further, why not practice your hobby in French or Dutch? You’re far more likely to strike up conversations, form friendships with locals and improve your language skills this way.
Attend conversation tables
Speaking of languages… cities like Brussels and Ghent have regular free language exchange events, which are great places to meet new people and practice French or Dutch.
These are known locally as Conversation Tables. They’re small, casual meet-ups that are well-attended by locals and expats.
You don’t need to be fluent in either language to join - everyone is welcome!
The best part is that some Conversation Tables, like this one, take place weekly, giving you a chance to make friends more quickly.
Meet people online
No, not in a creepy Tinder way!
Apps like Facebook and Meetup can be really helpful for finding local communities, joining events and meeting new people.
Even if the groups you find aren’t exactly what you’re looking for, you can use them to get recommendations or be introduced to other communities that are more your style.
Here are a couple of Facebook groups you might want to join to start with:
Volunteer in your city
What better way to get involved in the local community and meet Belgian people than by, well, getting involved with something?
Organisations like Serve the City in Brussels often look for volunteers to help with local initiatives.
Network and join events
Networking isn’t just a great way to make new work connections. It can also help expand your social circles.
The more often you show up at events, the more likely it is that people will recognise and chat with you. And who knows, they may even introduce you to more people!
The same goes for the workplace. Many of my students have found that by making conversation (in French!) and getting to know the people they work with, colleagues quickly become friends.
Making friends anywhere takes time, effort, and patience, and Belgium is no different.
We may seem a little cold and distant initially, but it is certainly possible to make friends in Belgium.
By learning French or Dutch, frequenting events and stepping outside your comfort zone, you can break down barriers and form connections that will transform your time in Belgium.
I know that using the local language in real-life situations can feel scary at the start. So, if you want to ease yourself into speaking French and feel more confident before you begin, my conversation groups will be perfect for you.
We meet once per week as a small group to chat about different topics and get used to speaking and understanding French.
Find out more about the Conversation groups, or get in touch to join us!
